“All I want right now is to go to school.”

Marielle Issa  | 

Afghan girls reflect on their lives since the girls’ education ban. (Courtesy of Malala Fund)

Afghan girls reflect on their lives since the girls’ education ban.

On 15 August 2021, Taliban leaders shut secondary school gates for millions of Afghan girls, making Afghanistan the only country in the world that forbids girls’ education. This ban nearly doubled the number of out-of-school girls at the secondary level in Afghanistan and has cost girls more than 200 million days of learning to date.

As the crisis in Afghanistan continues, Assembly is committed to amplifying the voices of young women speaking out for their right to learn and lead. Below, three Afghan students share anonymous essays reflecting on their lives since the girls’ education ban.


Serene*

I do not know how to write this article or where to begin — not because I do not know how to write an article, but because several months have passed since the last time I held a pen.

The last day I found myself a schoolgirl, I saw in the mirror of our hallway a girl with a surprised smile and glasses with a large frame wearing my blue uniform. She was very happy. After sitting for her last exam, she was supposed to go to a restaurant with her friends to celebrate the hard work they had endured during the two weeks of exams.

She picked up her backpack with the colorful flowers and looked at herself in the mirror again. She smiled briefly, then walked out of the house towards the school. She knew it was the last day of her exams and that she and her classmates were going to be on vacation for a while, but she did not even imagine that this vacation would be so long that she would miss the opportunity to say goodbye to her friends and to normal, sunny days. She did not know that was her last chance to consider herself a schoolgirl and experience the joy and excitement of finishing exams.

Now when I think of that day, it seems a distant memory.

(Courtesy of Andrew Quilty/Malala Fund)

In a few months I will be one year older, and I am more disappointed than ever. Since the Taliban took over Afghanistan and forbade us from going to school, girls like me have had to deal with the daily routine of adolescence without the excitement of life as a student. When I think about the future, no precise or clear picture can be seen. When I wake up in the morning I find no motivation to get out of bed. Every day passes like the day before; suffocatingly monotonous and boring.

I know that I am not alone in this feeling — that millions of other girls in Afghanistan feel the same way about their lives. Lives that will be shaped by the irrational policies of the Taliban. We have no choice but to wait and face the dark futures they’re pushing us towards. These years were supposed to be the best years of our lives, but now they have become unbearable.

Will this darkness ever end? This question has occupied the minds of all my peers. I have not seen my friends for a long time and I am not going to see most of them again. I lost some of them before getting the chance to hug and say goodbye, because they left Afghanistan and are not going to come back. The only way I can find out how they are is through WhatsApp and Instagram.

I miss wearing my uniform, going on adventures, laughing, walking freely in the evenings, smiling at my friends, writing and asking questions. I miss the little things I encountered during the day.
— Serene*

When I think about my life and how the days go by, I find myself extremely miserable. All I want right now is to go back to school. I was not really interested in lessons as a student, but now more than ever I feel eager to go back to my chair and desk by the classroom window and be part of a happy and noisy group. I desperately miss the mischief and jokes of our class clown and the girl who always arrives late and asks a lot of questions between lessons.

I miss Serene*, who was fresh, positive and always curious. I miss wearing my uniform, going on adventures, laughing, walking freely in the evenings, smiling at my friends, writing and asking questions. I miss the little things I encountered during the day.

All I want is to live freely and breathe the air filled with love, gentleness, kindness and closeness. I want to experience the thousands of sweet fantasies my friends and I made together when our math teacher was teaching. As Afghan girls our dream is, simply, to live, to learn and to lead.

Editor’s note: Serene is a pseudonym.


Yalda Popala*

“I don’t think I have a future!”

This is a sentence which is now heard from millions of Afghan girls because we have not been able to return to our secondary schools since the Taliban took over Afghanistan on August 15. They have reopened secondary schools for boys only and effectively banned girls from education past primary school, which includes grade seven and up.

Although Taliban spokesperson Zabihullah Mujahid claimed on September 21 that the Ministry of Education was preparing for “the education of high school girls as soon as possible,” only a few secondary schools have reopened in some provinces. The ban has been upheld throughout most of the country, and an unclear reopening policy has made millions of girls understandably fearful for their education. Even if girls’ schools reopened immediately, our time away from the classroom has caused serious harm to our futures. Being out of school puts girls at a higher risk of child marriage as families resort to marrying off their daughters amid the worsening economic crisis. Once engaged or married, many girls are compelled to drop out of school forever. Some girls were supposed to graduate from high school this year and were preparing for the university entrance examination, but learning loss during this period has forced them to put these dreams on hold.

Even if girls’ schools reopened immediately, our time away from the classroom has caused serious harm to our futures.
— Yalda Popala*

Education is a fundamental human right — and of great importance to alleviating food and economic security in Afghanistan. But in the past few months it has been taken away from millions of Afghan girls.

Still, many families are fighting desperately to educate their daughters in the face of enormous obstacles. People across Afghanistan are leading public protests, risking violent retribution to demand Taliban authorities reopen secondary schools for girls across the country. In Herat, a western province of Afghanistan, teachers and parents persuaded local Taliban administrators to allow their girls’ schools to reopen. In other parts of Afghanistan, female students have continued their studies in secret, working to complete their education online.

(Courtesy of Malala Fund)

Despite the difficulties we are facing I am not hopeless, because I hear beautiful things from many hearts in and outside of my country who still believe in a brighter future for Afghanistan’s girls. This situation in my country is one of those moments when we have the ability to influence history for the better.

To my fellow Afghan girls: The people who don’t want you to receive an education might make you feel you are useless or incomplete. Don’t let them affect you. Keep calm, and believe in that spark inside you that makes you shine like the sun. Let your bright future prove them wrong.

Editor’s note: Yalda Popala is a pseudonym.


Matia*

Our country, Afghanistan, is facing many problems and hardships. With each passing day, these problems —  of economy, society, business, politics and girls' education — are getting worse and worse.

Firstly, girls and women in Afghanistan have been deprived of a secondary education. This has affected our lives in many different ways. We feel our year has been wasted; instead of growth, many girls have lost their hopes in achieving their dreams.

With the advent of the Taliban’s authority, our politics and economy have also been harmed in a new way. International sanctions against the Taliban have frozen the flow of money into Afghanistan. Our economy is now so weak that many people can't even afford to buy a pen.

We, the girls and women of Afghanistan, have repeatedly called for an end to this oppression. Our message is simple: Education is our right.
— Matia*

We, the girls and women of Afghanistan, have repeatedly called for an end to this oppression. Our message is simple: Education is our right. Every girl needs it to achieve her dreams and perform her responsibilities in society. But despite our calls for change, girls’ schools remain closed, and families remain hungry. 

The international community has left the people of Afghanistan to fight for our own rights. It’s time they fought alongside us and instead of interfering in our internal affairs.

Editor’s note: Matia is a pseudonym.

flower.png
Meet the Author
Meet the Author
Marielle Issa

(she/her) is a former editorial associate at Malala Fund. She loves cold weather, chocolate croissants and the novel “Little Women.”