I spoke to women about how titles like “refugee” and “asylum seeker” impact their lives
Photo courtesy of Renata Daou.
Two students from Syria and Ukraine explain how their identity as refugees and asylum seekers can influence their daily lives.
Studies show that the media and the society where migrants were inserted ask them to be “deserving victims” to “prove” that they deserve to be in the new host country. This requires that the migrants retell their stories and make them more susceptible to retelling times they had fun in their countries of origin. In this process, they are stripped of their identities and they are placed into a new category: migrants.
From navigating a disrupted education to building community, girls share how they feel about being “made migrants” and the implications of their status in their daily lives.
Maya is a Syrian-Australian youth advocate passionate about encouraging young people to engage with social issues. She had reached out to Assembly, wanting to share her journey of starting anew in a foreign country and the importance of young voices in activism.
I met Varvara through Write the World, in 2022. She was part of a group of young Ukrainian writers at the time and was interested in amplifying the voices of young female writers globally. Varvara’s perspective adds a valuable dimension to understanding the experiences of young Ukrainians today.
Varvara, 21, Ukraine
Renata Daou: Do you feel like being an immigrant has influenced your daily life in comparison to other girls your age?
Most girls my age are either living with their parents and attending university, living on their own while attending university, or taking a gap year to make money and travel. Most of them have a stable place to live and study. I once had a life like this as well. Now that everything is different, I have to support myself, make money in a full-time job, and rent a room in a country I never actually planned to live in.
Since being a refugee means countless paperwork and documents, almost every day of my life in my host country included a visit to local governments. Registering in the Social Security office, an employment agency, getting a residence permit, receiving unemployment benefits, and many more activities required me to run around the city daily instead of doing my homework or getting ready for my exams. Though I don’t have encounters with them as often as before when I was on governmental support, I am envious of my German friends who don’t have to deal with this bureaucracy, since it would be taken care of by the older adults.
“The moment I would live alone and be financially independent was supposed to come when I finished my bachelor’s degree. Life had other plans for me, drastically different from the ones I painted for myself.”
It’s been even harder since I moved out of my sister’s apartment, had to find my own apartment, pay my bills, work while studying and take care of the household. It is insane for me to interact with girls in my class at the university who are aged 18-20, living with their parents and not working. Their only task is studying. Meanwhile, I’ve forgotten the last time I’ve seen my parents in person or felt like a child.
I had my life planned out. The moment I would live alone and be financially independent was supposed to come when I finished my bachelor’s degree. Life had other plans for me, drastically different from the ones I painted for myself. I don’t get to go out that much, and I don’t have that much free time for myself and my hobbies. The only aspect that bothers me from time to time is that I don’t fit in with people my age anymore. It is as if I am stuck between two age groups, one of ‘old children’ who are still being cared for by their parents, the other of 25-35-year-olds who are those ‘adultier’ adults, working full-time, paying their rent, keeping their household together.
And in neither of these do I feel accepted and understood. Socialising and finding people to walk through life with has become terribly hard. At times, I just wish I was like any other girl my age.
RD: Has being an immigrant influenced your schooling in any way? Has it made it difficult to enrol/attend school? Did you suffer any type of prejudice?
Previously, I’ve always had a strong sense of direction when talking about education. When I realised I probably wouldn’t be able to continue my studies at my university, I immediately started searching for colleges and universities in my host country to finish the degree I started in Ukraine. That’s when I stumbled upon a wall of hypocrisy and misunderstanding.
“We offer immediate help for Ukrainian student refugees,” shouted the university websites. “Apply for our preparatory year to learn the language, embrace the culture, and enrol in our university afterwards!” I was quick to believe that. Once I started emailing those colleges and universities, I quickly realised how big they were on words and how little on actions. Nobody wanted a refugee student without perfect language. They replied: “We cannot accept you without a B2 language certificate for the preparatory year, and for enrollment into our bachelor programs, you’d need a solid C1.” If I happened to find a university with softer language requirements or with programs in English, it was either a private university with high tuition fees or a public one without dormitories.
“I’ve always had a strong sense of direction when talking about education. When I realised I probably wouldn’t be able to continue my studies at my university, I immediately started searching for colleges and universities in my host country to finish the degree I started in Ukraine. That’s when I stumbled upon a wall of hypocrisy and misunderstanding.”
I eventually gave up trying and started thinking about learning the language on my own and finding a full-time job to be able to finance another year of my life in an expensive European country like Germany. Once again, I never thought I’d be in this situation that early in my life. I had to drop out of my Ukrainian university after my gap year that I’ve taken to learn German.
With my self-organisation skills, I achieved the C1 level on my own in just a year – this opened the door to the university for me. In my university, they put a lot of pressure on Ukrainians to have perfect language skills.
With that in mind, being a refugee made it difficult to enrol in a university here. Moreover, it is making the studies themselves difficult as well – it’s the language question again. It is extremely hard to be on the same level as Germans and maintain the same level of performance. It takes me 30 minutes on the exam just to read the questions and figure out what is being asked. For them, it is natural, they do it effortlessly.
Maya, 23, Syria
RD: Do you feel like your immigration status influences your daily life?
My status impacts my life in different ways every day. Migration is constant. It is not looking and sounding like others around you, it is mispronouncing a word in English but you know how to pronounce it in your mother tongue, the constant reminder of your origin. These might be stereotypical impacts, there are so many ways that migration manifests in daily life. Fleeing your country in search of safety means that you have to adapt to a new environment, to foster new connections and friendships with the communities around you.
RD: Do you feel like being an immigrant has influenced your daily life in comparison to other girls your age?
Migration has introduced me to the difficulty of living by Eurocentric standards. Having that Middle Eastern bump on the bridge of my nose, dark hair and dark eyes have always reminded me of my existence on foreign soil. The intersectionality of being a woman and a migrant can take a big toll on mental health, as you become more aware of inequalities that you face. My experience has led me to compare my situation to other girls around me, and it has made me aware of the intergenerational inequality that exists between myself and my friends and their families, who have migrated a generation before mine, and built a life for themselves so that my friends can live comfortably today.
“I have constantly shied away from telling my true migration story to its full extent to avoid how it will be perceived by others. I hated the emotional labour of sharing my trauma with others, as they would react with sadness and pity. I share my story not to be pitied and made to feel sorry for, I share it because I know the power it holds, I share it because I am proud of it.”
These are the side effects of war that often go unnoticed - the distance and lack of connection you feel with your family when you aren’t surrounded by them. Especially in a culture that praises the importance of family, it is extremely difficult to live without those you love by your side. You miss life-changing moments like marriages, graduations, or a loved one’s passing. Celebrating and grieving from a distance is a challenge of its own.
RD: Do the labels “refugee,” “asylum seeker” and “immigrant” influence how people view you?
When I was young, I was scared of labelling myself with an identity that I didn’t quite understand. Many people my age didn’t know what being a migrant or a refugee meant. I don't think people understand what it’s like to move across continents searching for safety. Now, I’ve been lucky enough to find my community and be in spaces of people who have similar experiences. I identify myself as a first-generation migrant from Syria. Being open about my roots has helped me stay true to my values and my passions. I just hope that people don’t see me as just that - I have much more to offer than my status.
RD: Were you ever concerned about how people might perceive your migration story? Have you ever felt like you have to “prove your case” to justify migration?
Yes, all the time. I am aware of people painting all migrants —especially non-Western ones — with the same brush. I have constantly shied away from telling my true migration story to its full extent to avoid how it will be perceived by others. I hated the emotional labour of sharing my trauma with others, as they would react with sadness and pity. I share my story not to be pitied and made to feel sorry for, I share it because I know the power it holds, I share it because I am proud of it.
“I want newly arrived migrants to remember that they don’t need to ‘make’ something out of themselves. They have the right to just live, and that looks different in every community.”
I’ve seen migrants work twice as hard to achieve the same thing that non-migrants do. We have an innate need to justify our existence. Survivor guilt is real, and sometimes it forces you to burn yourself out by saying yes to every opportunity in front of you. I want newly arrived migrants to remember that they don’t need to ‘make’ something out of themselves. They have the right to just live, and that looks different in every community.
RD: What can your community do to make sure immigrants, refugees, and asylum seekers feel more welcomed?
If you want migrants, refugees, and asylum seekers to feel more welcome, treat them with respect, dignity, and kindness. Recognise that resettling in a new environment takes time and looks different for every newly arrived person. Let them set the timeline and boundaries. Remember, they are here to just live, and that looks different to everyone. Consulting with migrant and refugee communities is also crucially important if you are unsure about how something might impact them. Don’t leave us in the dark, we are here to offer our help and expertise. Rally beside us, not in front of us. Let us hold the mic when sharing our own stories. Support us by listening to us and working alongside us to fight against the injustice that we face.
Interviews were condensed and edited for clarity.
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