How the riot grrrl movement helped me gain confidence — Assembly

13-year-old Colombian student Martina Camacho explains how the punk rock movement helped her become unapologetically herself.

Last year, I sat down to watch a new Netflix film with my mom called “Moxie.” As the movie started, these song lyrics played: “That girl thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood/ she’s got the hottest trike in town./ That girl she holds her head up so high/ I think I wanna be her best friend.”

There was something different about this song. Something so intriguing that encouraged me to dig deeper. I learned that the song, “Rebel Girl,” was by a band named Bikini Kill who were part of the riot grrrl movement, a feminist, alternative and punk rock movement that formed in the 1990s. I hit play on their most popular songs and experienced something magical. The upbeat, blaring drum combined with the grungy bass riffs, messy guitar sound and the lead singer’s youthful, powerful voice created a rebellious, safe atmosphere where I felt as though anything was possible. We were one year into the pandemic at this point, I was starting to feel a bit unmotivated and lonely, and music was helping me through it. With “Rebel Girl,” I felt inspired to be more like the girl in the song. To hold my head up high, leave behind my insecurities and be the “queen of the neighborhood.” Though it wasn’t an automatic problem-solver, it gave me hope in a difficult time.

The riot grrrl movement began in Olympia, Washington, U.S. by a group of young feminists who were making music, art and fanzines, which are do-it-yourself (DIY) magazines typically used by punk bands to talk about music, politics and feminism. Frustrated by the male-dominated punk rock scene, the founding members of riot grrrl wanted to celebrate girls’ contributions to the art form. One of the most important people in the movement was Kathleen Hanna, the lead singer of Bikini Kill. In 1991, she wrote the riot grrrl manifesto that stated, “Us girls crave records and books and fanzines that speak to US that WE feel included in and can understand in our own ways. BECAUSE we wanna make it easier for girls to see/hear each other’s work.”

Part of what made riot grrrl special was the accessible, DIY ethic. You didn’t have to be rich, or go through some important publishing company to get your message across. All you needed was a pen and a piece of paper. Bikini Kill — and artists like them — inspired many other girls to make their own music and zines. Thanks to them, bands like Le Tigre, The Julie Ruin and Babes in Toyland wrote music expressing messages they’d wanted to say their whole lives.

When I first learned about riot grrrl, I was stunned. I loved it wholeheartedly and I definitely felt spoken to. As of right now, I have lived in seven countries and been traveling my whole life. Being a child that moves around a lot, it’s hard to feel like you belong to a community. But riot grrrl is just that — a community that includes everyone. You don’t have to live in the U.S., you don’t have to speak English, you don’t have to listen to punk music or be anyone specifically. You just have to believe in the riot grrrl’s values — like feminism and inclusion — and you will have a community of like-minded individuals who will support you.

“Thanks to riot grrrl I can make art and experiment with self-expression without feeling like I need to be great at it.”

— Martina Camacho

Listening to riot grrrl helped me understand that I don’t always have to be perfect. The music made by riot grrrl bands didn’t always sound great; the songs and sound quality were sometimes messy, but that was the point. It wasn’t about being perfect. It was about being young, having fun and spreading a message. Thanks to riot grrrl I can make art and experiment with self-expression without feeling like I need to be great at it. I’ve even started a band with my friends even though I’m not an expert at guitar because the point is to have fun and enjoy life.

I’ve also learned that it’s okay to feel angry. You don’t have to hide your emotions because they aren’t happy or positive. Songs like “Jigsaw Youth” by Bikini Kill, “Dig Me Out” by Sleater-Kinney and “Watchmaker” by Excuse 17 embody what it is to have confused, messy feelings. The lyrics are like a pat on the back to the listener and offer a great deal of comfort, something I will remember for the rest of my life. There is so much going on in the world, and everyone deserves a safe space to be open with their emotions.

Despite how much riot grrrl helped me, the movement had its flaws. Riot grrrl eventually failed in the late 1990s because of its exclusion of trans people and people of color, which contradicted its feminist values. There were many racist, transphobic people in the movement, and it ceased to feel like a safe environment for everyone. It is disappointing, especially as a Latina girl, to see a group of people you admire fail to include everyone in a movement that based itself on the inclusion of women in the music business.

“Whenever I have to give a presentation or do something that makes me nervous, I can think back to Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill, standing on a stage and screaming her heart out and singing “Rebel Girl,” a song about a fearless girl who unapologetically is herself.”

— Martina Camacho

But that’s not the end of riot grrrl. Not at all. Today there are many bands and people reclaiming the legacy of the movement by making zines and music that emphasize the intersectionality of the riot grrrl movement and encourage anyone — and everyone — to join. Bands like Margaritas Podridas, Riot Spears, Las Pijamas. Judith Judah, Brutal Mary, The Regrettes, The Linda Lindas, Froggy, Daddy Issues, Fea, Skating Polly, Dazey and the Scouts, Vial, LA Witch and so many more make amazing music with the same powerful feminist messages.

Finding riot grrrl has been one of the best parts of the last few years. It’s given me hope for the future and it’s helped me have fun. Often I feel girls are told they have to be quiet in order to be liked. I’ve definitely struggled with self-confidence and feelings of anxiety. I’m sure many other girls have too. Sometimes I’m scared to say when something bothers me or to speak my mind, in fear that I would be judged. But Riot Grrrl helped me manage that. Whenever I have to give a presentation or do something that makes me nervous, I can think back to Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill, standing on a stage and screaming her heart out and singing “Rebel Girl,” a song about a fearless girl who unapologetically is herself. I tell myself: “If she can do that, I can definitely do this.”