Learning to embrace my learning style, even if it deviates from the norm

“I learnt not to be ashamed of my own learning style, even if it deviates from the norm,“ Kayla shares. (Courtesy of Kayla Greene)

Kayla Greene writes about the discrimination she experienced in the classroom because of her speech and language disorder and learning style.

I must admit that I wasn’t always a girl who liked going to school. Not necessarily because I disliked learning, but I never enjoyed how most teachers and students thought that there is only one way to learn. When someone in the class approached things differently or didn’t learn at a fast, computer-like pace, the other students and teachers would call them the hard “R.” Experiencing that made me feel that I was less than a human being. Whether you learn the same or differently from others, you should be treated with kindness and respect. Educators should always support students and their individual needs.

I was 7 years old when one day while in the car with my mom, I suddenly started to speak very oddly, stuttering at nearly every word I said. Not knowing what was happening to me, I became very confused. I had to get a speech evaluation, which revealed that I had an expressive language disorder that caused me to stammer. The situation worsened when I was in third grade. Students took advantage of my inability to communicate like them and bullied me. In fourth grade, I managed to make friends both inside and outside of school — although the bullying continued. What struck me most during this period was that even my teachers made me feel different from the rest of my peers. I remember in middle school my music teacher even made a joke about my style of speaking. I attended speech therapy and soon I qualified as a special education student, which meant that I needed extra attention in my educational resources.

“I was 7 years old when one day while in the car with my mom, I suddenly started to speak very oddly, stuttering at nearly every word I said.”

— Kayla Greene

In addition to the speech and language disorder, I also discovered that my learning style was not what others expected of me. I preferred visual instruction over verbal. For example, I learn easier when someone writes out how to do a math problem instead of someone telling me the equation. But unfortunately very few people paid attention to my needs and I started to consider myself a burden. All I wanted was to perform well at school and yet I hesitated when asking for help and lost interest in doing certain assignments. 

At the same time, I continued to experience bullying, both overtly and covertly. My so-called friends often made fun of my stutter even after I explained to them my situation. Trying hard to retain those friendships, I was often manipulated into doing things that I later regretted. I also felt like my inability to perform and learn like others made my peers impatient. For example, during a track practice when I asked my team member to explain a move, she immediately got frustrated and accused me of being a slow learner. “Kayla you gotta learn,” she snapped. Incidents such as these stayed with me when I moved to college and made me afraid whenever I attempted to learn something new.

“Learning is a continuous process; it comes in different styles and paces. Teachers and school officials should be more open and allow students to learn in such a way that is best for them.”

— Kayla Greene

Now that I am in college, I am not experiencing bullying like before — but I still carried a lot of fear to ask for help. Initially I enrolled at Medgar Evers College in Brooklyn, New York. However, my traumatic past experiences prevented me from performing to the best of my abilities. I hesitated to get help from my professors and make friends. It was only at the Office of Students with Disabilities that I could relax and do my assignments without feeling unwanted. When I later transferred to LaGuardia Community College, I registered myself at the Office of Students with Disabilities to receive counseling, tutoring and educational accommodating services that could help me overcome my present challenges to seek help. I soon identified that the same pattern of fear that prevented me earlier from doing my assignments still persisted. I was scared that my voice would not be heard if I said that I needed help. Quite naturally, it impacted my GPA. It was an adjustment when I later transferred from LaGuardia, but my advisor at my new college was able to provide resources to help improve my GPA. Now I have made a resolution to reach out to others for help when I need it, and I have already started to notice that my grades are getting better. I am determined to succeed regardless of anything.

Learning is a continuous process; it comes in different styles and paces. Teachers and school officials should be more open and allow students to learn in such a way that is best for them. Students should speak up and let the teachers know if they are not accommodating with their educational needs. I believe that as long as one keeps pushing oneself and has a strong determination, one can accomplish anything. No one ever said that it would be an easy path but dedication and willingness to learn counts the most. I learnt not to be ashamed of my own learning style, even if it deviates from the norm.