Let's talk about social anxiety
17-year-old Lebanese student Abir Fakih explains how social anxiety disorder (SAD) has affected her life. (Courtesy of Abir Fakih)
17-year-old Lebanese student Abir Fakih explains how social anxiety disorder (SAD) has affected her life.
Warning: This article mentions social anxiety, which could be triggering to some readers.
My heart is racing, my face is blushed, my hands are trembling and I can’t tell why. My fears rise following each step towards the door to the party.
A few more steps and I reach the front door. I stand on the doorstep taking a quick glance around the room. It is full of well-dressed people busy chatting and laughing. Silently, I make my way to a chair sitting close to the corner and sit, hoping not to be recognized by anyone. In the back of my mind, I regret my decision to attend the party. I distract myself with my phone so I can avoid eye contact and chitchats with others. The place is full of joy. Everyone seems to be enjoying every aspect of the party, while I am falling into the dark grave of thoughts, battling the overwhelming flow of questions. What could possibly go wrong? What do others think of me? Am I worth being among these people?
This scenario is not unique. It is just one example of the day-to-day life of a person living with social anxiety disorder (SAD), also known as social phobia. SAD is a mental health condition characterized by over-worrying about a social situation before, during and after it happens.
Symptoms of SAD first appeared in my early teenage years. Over time, every social interaction began to feel like a burden on my shoulders. Many situations can form frustrating obstacles for me — like being among unfamiliar people, meeting new ones, eating in public, using a public restroom, engaging in a conversation with a stranger and being alone in a crowded place. In these circumstances, I end up trapped in unrealistic fears of being judged, embarrassed or not as good compared to others. The thoughts are uncontrollable; once they start I cannot stop them. Certain physical symptoms also show up when my anxiety kicks in, like rapid heartbeat, trembling, sweating, blushing, nausea and lightheadedness. One of the greatest challenges that socially anxious people can face is maintaining eye contact, which makes it hard for us to communicate nonverbally.
“It can be challenging for sufferers of SAD to understand the reasons for their feelings, especially when they are so young. I often felt emotionally drained trying so hard to identify why this was happening to me and ending up with no answer.”
Though my symptoms were severe, talking about them was even worse. It can be challenging for sufferers of SAD to understand the reasons for their feelings, especially when they are so young. I often felt emotionally drained trying so hard to identify why this was happening to me and ending up with no answer. One of the reasons it’s so hard to talk about SAD is because of the way many people perceive its symptoms. They assume that social anxiety is just shyness, antisocialism or disinterest in other people or events. But this is a misconception. Social anxiety is a serious condition that, when left untreated, can drive a person to substance abuse, isolation and even suicidal thoughts. Many social anxiety victims have low self-confidence, which prevents them from realizing their potential. The mislabeling of social anxiety disorder as shyness or introversion can lead sufferers of SAD to feel that their experience is normal, or simply part of their personality. This lowers the possibility that they will ever get treatment or seek the help they need.
Although social anxiety disorder is often neglected, it exists at high rates. An estimated 4.4% of people around the world are at risk for SAD, and most people develop the condition between 11 and 18 years old. A recent study conducted among young people in seven countries found that one-third of them met the threshold criteria for SAD. Regardless of the dark reality of this condition, there is always hope for change and the sun is yet to shine.
To anyone reading this who suffers from social anxiety, I want you to know recovery is tough but not impossible. Be patient with yourself; with time, it is going to happen! Through my own recovery journey, I have learned some tips and tricks that can help socially anxious people stay on track. The first thing is to identify all the situations that stimulate your social anxiety. Then, you can work on facing your fears in order to move past them by gradually increasing your engagement in these situations. For example, try introducing yourself to someone new at school or starting a conversation with a classmate about a topic you love. If that feels like too big a step, try leaving a comment on someone’s social media post. In addition to that, if you have a social situation coming up that is likely to make you anxious, you can prepare by doing enjoyable activities that lower your stress levels like reading, meditating or playing a video game. These activities won't directly alleviate your anxiety, but they prevent the build-up of stress and raise your overall happiness levels.
“Make it a point to speak kindly to everyone you meet — you never know what thoughts they could be battling internally.”
Socially anxious people often lack support systems. People don't understand their behaviors and accuse them of being anti-social or boring. In order to change that it is imperative to raise awareness about the condition through social media campaigns and mental health education programs at schools. Every one of us has a role to play in helping sufferers of SAD. If someone seems nervous to introduce themselves, take it upon yourself to engage with them first. Don’t make jokes or judgmental comments about someone’s behavior in a social situation that are likely to embarrass them. Make it a point to speak kindly to everyone you meet — you never know what thoughts they could be battling internally.
Millions of people are living with social anxiety today, but a very large portion of them are not receiving the professional help they need. That’s why it is a critical time to speak and raise awareness about this mental health condition. So as many people as possible can heal.
Resources
Here are some mental health helplines and organisations that can assist you in finding professional care:
Helplines
Befrienders Worldwide (global)
IMAlive (global)
Centro de Asistencia al Suicida (Argentina)
Kids Helpline (Australia)
CVV – Life Valorization Center (Brazil)
Bell Let’s Talk (Canada)
AASRA (India)
SAPTEL (Mexico)
She Writes Woman (Nigeria)
Natasha Goulbourn Foundation (Philippines)
LifeLine (South Africa)
Samaritans (U.K.)
Organisations
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