The stigma around female rage — Assembly

Girls and women face a range of restrictions on both our bodily autonomy and our expression of rage.

Warning: This article mentions gender-based violence, which could be triggering to some readers.

In a world created seemingly for men by men, girls and women face a range of restrictions on both our bodily autonomy and our expression of rage.

We have a lot to be angry about. In my native country of Pakistan, for example, there is rampant gender-based sexual violence where too often society blames the victim and protects the reputation of the abuser. In the U.S., a recent law restricted access to abortion in Texas, taking away women’s health and reproductive rights and decision-making power over their own bodies. In Afghanistan, the Taliban has issued a de facto ban on girls’ secondary education.

Yet, when girls and women express our anger, men call us words like hysterical, crazy and bitch. Patriarchal society teaches us to suppress our anger and discourages us from expressing the full depth of our emotions. If women get angry then they’re being unreasonable or too emotional. On the other hand, that same patriarchal environment calls men passionate, assertive leaders for expressing the same emotions. Every characteristic that society praises in men it sees as a fault in women. Being loud is a positive quality in a man; he is remarkable and making his presence known. In a woman, loud is obnoxious, attention seeking and childish. The world uses women’s anger to discredit them and their intelligence, while viewing angry men as strong willed.

In Pakistan, when the media covers crimes of gender-based violence, women are always depicted as scared and trembling. As soon as the victim starts to fight back and show her anger, she’s suddenly seen as unlikeable and “troubling” facts about her past start popping up in articles. The message couldn’t be clearer: Women can be hurt and afraid — in fact society prefers you that way — but you cannot get angry and demand change.

“The message couldn’t be clearer: Women can be hurt and afraid — in fact society prefers you that way — but you cannot get angry and demand change.”

— Mahrukh S.M.

It is in this oppressive bubble that rage is planted like a seed in the heart of every girl and is watered throughout her life until it takes on a life of its own.

Throughout history and continuing to today, girls and women have channeled their rage into other outlets. For example, Artemisia Gentileschi’s 1620 painting “Judith Beheading Holofernes ” depicts the biblical Judith as she saws off the neck of the general Holofernes while her maid holds him down. It is possible this painting was made in an effort to release the artist’s rage and frustration against her own rapist, her painting teacher Agostino Tassi. Gentileschi had testified against him in court — while also being tortured with thumbscrews during her testimony — but her abuser was set free post-conviction after the pope intervened. It’s not far-fetched to assume her painting of Judith killing her abuser is the depiction of the justice she never received.

Others have used their rage for social change. In 2015, women in the African American Policy Forum (AAPF) founded the #SayHerName campaign to raise awareness about the Black girls and women who have been victimized by racist police violence. In Pakistan, the Women’s March of 2018 (dubbed Aurat March as aurat means woman in Urdu) revolutionized the way my country discusses women’s rights. Topics that were once so taboo that they could not be uttered outside the privacy of one’s home were now scrawled onto cardboard signs for the entire world to see — from domestic violence and stigma around menstruation to sexual violence and the right to education. In the streets women unleashed decades of grief, fear and above all: rage. It was always there festering beneath the surface, it just didn’t have an outlet.

For many girls and women, their rage — and inability to express it — takes its toll on their mental health. According to the medical journal The Lancet, women are more likely to deal with mental illness as a direct result of gender-based discrimination. The restriction of women’s ability to express their emotions has led to higher rates of depression and anxiety. The World Health Organization confirms that depression is twice as prevalent in women than it is in men. Additionally, by suppressing anger, women are more likely to fall victim to chronic stress, which can lead to insomnia and eating disorders.

“By normalizing open conversations about anger and the ways patriarchal society restricts girls and women, we can break down the stigma around female rage and create a healthier, more equal world.”

— Mahrukh S.M.

Female rage is universal. It transcends every culture and political landscape. I want to see more safe spaces for girls and women to express their justifiable anger at the patriarchy. Parents should talk to their daughters about healthy ways to express, identify and communicate their anger. Schools and other academic environments should include in their curriculums ways to deal with anger in response to systematic oppression. By normalizing open conversations about anger and the ways patriarchal society restricts girls and women, we can break down the stigma around female rage and create a healthier, more equal world.

Resources

Here are some mental health helplines and organisations that can assist you in finding professional care:

Helplines