The unexpected star of my college lectures — my mom
“Watching my mom go back to school, I’ve seen firsthand that it’s never too late to pursue your studies and that learning is truly a lifelong journey,” Sundus shares. (Courtesy of Sheikh Sundus Zeeshan)
22-year-old Pakistani student Sheikh Sundus Zeeshan writes about her mom returning to the classroom 19 years later, as her classmate.
I never imagined being classmates with my mom. I mean, who wants parental supervision when they go off to university? But it ended up being the most amazing journey ever.
It started in 2019 when I had just finished my A-levels and was preparing to apply for university. My mom — who left school after getting married at 17 and having me at 18 — wondered aloud what her life might have been like if she had been able to complete her education and earn her bachelor’s degree. She built such a happy home for me and my four siblings, but what else could she have achieved if she had been able to continue her studies?
There are many girls and women in Pakistan who have similar experiences to my mother. Families often teach girls that their main purpose in life is to get married and have a family. Girls who are subjected to early marriage must compromise their dreams and studies to meet society’s expectations. In 2019, 53% of women in Pakistan were illiterate. So many girls and women who never got to realize their potential — just like my mom.
“Knowledge is a lifelong process, and you can attain it whenever you want. Why couldn’t my mom earn her bachelor’s degree now?”
Our conversation made me question why we put an expiration date on doing things. Education shouldn’t be age restricted. Knowledge is a lifelong process, and you can attain it whenever you want. Why couldn’t my mom earn her bachelor’s degree now?
Our whole family agreed that no matter my mom’s age, if she wanted to go back to school, she should be able to. Before I knew it, my mom and I were both applying to university. The initial plan was to apply to different universities, but fate had other ideas. She wanted to study international relations and I planned to study economics. We both ended up being accepted to the University of Shaheed Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto in Islamabad (SZABIST)’s bachelor’s in social science program, which offers international relations and economics as majors.
At first, it was a bit hard for me to process that we both got in and were going because, again, university with your mom? At the same time, I was also worried for her. How would she blend in with people my age? How would she manage studies with all her household responsibilities?
@sunduszeeshann She’s in her 8th semester and I’m in 6th. Super proud of her. ❤️❤️❤️#mom #womenempowerment #fyp #foryou #viral #desimom #university ♬ original sound - skanda
My mom was worried about all these things and more. She didn’t know if she would be able to fill the education gap; school wasn’t the same as when she was first a student. Back then, most subjects were taught in Urdu (the national language of Pakistan) not English so the concept of studying and speaking English in educational institutions was new to her. She also wasn’t used to everything being computerized. Going back to school at 37 years old was going to be different — and difficult.
Filling in the 20-year gap of education for my mom actually took a village. My grandmother (my mother’s mother-in-law) stepped in to help with household chores — making breakfast, lunch and dinner and looking after the house — so my mom could go off to university carefree. My brothers helped my mom with using programs like PowerPoint and Microsoft Word. My sister and I helped her understand her assignments for classes, translating the questions from English to Urdu and writing her Urdu answers in English. My father encouraged her whenever it got overwhelming and she felt like she couldn’t do it anymore. The university and the faculty were also supportive and understanding of her unique situation and made sure to give her some leeway.
“Even though my mom had help, none of this would have been possible without her own hard work and determination,” Sundus shares. (Courtesy of Sheikh Sundus Zeeshan)
But even though my mom had help, none of this would have been possible without her own hard work and determination. Sometimes she would struggle understanding what she was studying. She would sit for hours and hours in front of the screen, looking for YouTube videos and other sources to help her understand concepts. She would give her classes her all and then would still come home and look after our family, helping my dad, shopping for groceries, making sure my siblings did their homework and had their lunchboxes.
Admittedly, the first day of university was a bit awkward for me. I didn’t want anyone knowing she was my mom. I didn’t want to feel like a first grader. I didn't want to be judged or come off as a mommy’s girl. I didn’t want the teachers to know because I didn't want a parent-teacher meeting every day. I just wanted to be free and have fun.
“My mom and I have a special story that illustrates the importance of education for women of all ages. I would like to see the government of Pakistan subsidize education for women and girls.”
However, as time passed people started figuring out and asking us if we were related, so the secret came out. To my surprise, we were met with so much love and appreciation from everyone on campus. It gave me the confidence I needed to proudly tell everyone that we were studying together. My friends or teachers would sometimes lovingly tease me that they would tell my mom when I came late to class. But I started to love having her around. Whenever I felt sad in university, I would go to her. Whenever I felt lonely, I would go to her. Whenever I felt cold, I knew she’d give me her shawl. Whenever I forgot my wallet or my water bottle at home, I knew she had a spare of everything for me. University is a second home because of her.
This experience has brought me and my mom closer in so many ways. We have our own inside jokes about school. The age gap we have feels nonexistent now. Her hanging out with people my age has helped her understand me on a different level. We have tons of special memories in school, from carpooling to university together to having lunch and tea in the university grounds to playing volleyball with OUR friends to actually bunking classes together. Not many children can say “I bunked a class with my mother!”
@sunduszeeshann A big thankyou to EVERYONE who has supported, appreciated and sent so much love and duas for me and my mom! Very greatful! ❤️ #fyp #foryou #geo #geonews #viral #mom @geonewsdottv ♬ DESIRES - AP Dhillon & Gurinder Gill
One day I was going through my gallery and found a few silly videos of my mother enjoying her university life as a student, and I decided to create a cute TikTok out of them. I had no idea it would get over 1.4 million views! When it blew up my mom and I spent hours reading the wonderful and loving comments and messages that we received. My mother was literally in tears. She felt like she had done something extraordinary; she felt seen and acknowledged. A well-known Pakistani news channel also contacted us and invited us on a segment. We were and are extremely grateful for all the love we have received.
My mom and I have a special story that illustrates the importance of education for women of all ages. I would like to see the government of Pakistan subsidize education for women and girls; poverty prevents so many girls and women from learning. If education wasn’t such a burden on families, more girls would be educated.
As Muhammad Ali Jinnah, the founder of Pakistan, said, “No nation can ever be worthy of its existence that cannot take its women along with the men. No struggle can ever succeed without women participating side by side with men. There are two powers in the world; one is the sword and the other is the pen. There is a great competition and rivalry between the two. There is a third power stronger than both, that of the women.”
“Watching my mom go back to school, I’ve seen firsthand that it’s never too late to pursue your studies and that learning is truly a lifelong journey,” Sundus says. (Courtesy of Sheikh Sundus Zeeshan)
This year, my mother graduated. She just completed her thesis and gave her final exams. As for me, I still have a year left. It’s going to be very empty and weird without her around. Hopefully by next year, we both will be at our convocation, wearing our graduation gowns and holding our degrees with our heads held high.
This experience has taught me so much. Watching my mom go back to school, I’ve seen firsthand that it’s never too late to pursue your studies and that learning is truly a lifelong journey. And, perhaps most importantly, I’m living proof that when mothers are educated, a generation is educated.
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